Friday, 4 April 2014

Week 12

If it doesn't challenge you, it doesn't change you

So here we are, the end! How quick has that gone.

I have been writing this post in my head for the last few days (sorry it's late by the way) and there are so many things I want to talk about as well as sharing the last pictures and final measurements. One of the main things is about body image. Now, what I'm going to say is probably what a lot of us think (especially ladies), may make me sound crazy, and I may contradict myself, but as I've said before this blog is about being real and these are my thoughts.

There are so many parts to this I don't even know where to start, so bear with me. 

Body image and how we see ourselves confuses me, scares me and makes me really mad. 

I'll start with the confusing bit. Just before I started this blog, I came across a, erm, 'sexy' pic of me (sexy in good taste I might add, not black strip across the eyes stuff) that was taken post Isabelle and I'm not joking, my body looked amazing (and a few of my good friends who have seen said picture can vouch for that). So why am I confused you may ask.. well I was confused because I don't remember when that picture was taken, thinking 'oh my god, you look amazing' or, 'yep, I'm happy with my body'. I was shocked at the picture and would have given my right arm to look like that again. 

This then happened again during this 12 week challenge. When I had comments from some of you at the very beginning about my before pictures saying 'you don't look bad' and 'I'd be happy with your before pictures', I was like really? And then even further on into the challenge, I could see the changes, but still wasn't happy. It's only right at the very end now that I can really look and say, hell yeah, I look good. However, I won't lie, I said to Esther the other day... hmm maybe my next challenge is seeing if I can change my ass (it's just a bit flat you see). So my question is, are we ever happy (or is this just me) and if we aren't why is that, is it human nature, is it just being a woman (although I know men have issues too), or is it the media...which leads me nicely onto the angry part.... (this is flowing better than I planned).

So angry... celebrity magazines, celebrities themselves, crazy 'quick fix' diets. These are what make me angry and I think these are to blame (in part) for the reason we are never happy. Air brushing is obviously one of the worst things, but I remember a few months ago and I was in a petrol station and as I was walking out (no, not the day I wanted mini eggs) and I saw on the front page of of a couple of magazines, Chantelle Houghton, who had just had a baby, running on the beach, looking, well, like she'd just had a baby, and the headline was awful (can't remember exactly, but it was something about her letting it all hang out). 

Now, I know that sometimes these things are set up and it may be that it was sneaky PR for a forthcoming fitness dvd or something, but that aside, I thought, this is a mother, a female (come on where is the girl power) and she is clearly trying to do something about her body by running, so why and what gives the magazines the right to ridicule her and more than that, I imagined how I would feel if that was me being plastered all over the front of magazines to be ridiculed by the world. It made me feel sick. Surely we should have been applauding her for trying to do something positive to lose the weight. It just baffles me. I don't buy or read these magazines but I have in the past and I know that they are full of things like circle of shames and snaps of cellulite etc, so it's no wonder that we aren't happy with our bodies when the media is like this. But I know it's never going to change, and may in fact just get worse. Which then leads me onto the scared part 

So yep, I'm scared, for my daughter. I can do the very best I can to give her a healthy attitude about her body, weight, exercise, food, but I can't stop her reading these magazines when she's older and being influenced by other people outside the home. She will hopefully read this blog one day and take something positive away from it, but I feel lost how to protect her from the other elements, because the magazines wont go away, stupid trends like thigh gaps wont go away (I mean come on, a 'thelfie' 'thigh gap selfie, how about a helthie, a picture of a girl looking healthy??). 

I'd be interested to hear people's thoughts about the whole body image thing? Do you agree, disagree, have other thoughts? I could talk about it all day.

So onto healthy and this challenge. You'll notice that my goal was never to be skinny, I just wanted to be at my 'happy weight', no actually, it's not even happy weight because the scales don't matter. I wanted to look healthy and be happy, and that I am, thanks to the help of Esther and crucially, the support from you guys.

The last week of the challenge didn't quite go according to plan and it's fair to say I crawled over the finish line following a sickness bug which completely wiped me out. Add that to week 11 and Toe-gate and the end wasn't as I imagined. 

Sick bug happened the day after I wrote my last post on the Sunday and took me and Isabelle down. Monday was clearly a write off but on the Tuesday I thought I was well enough to go to Esther. Hmm, I thought wrong. We decided to do Insanity, and oh my god we were insane. My body had nothing to offer. I honestly felt what (I imagine) you'd feel like after running a marathon. My legs were aching, my tummy was sore, urgh! We had to pull the plug early. So Wednesday was back to work after a year off on maternity leave, so needless to say, I didn't workout, same for Thursday. I wanted to give my body a proper chance to recover. Friday I did Insanity again and I am happy to report it didn't kill me. Saturday I went to Hale Country Club with my fabulous friends Vicky & Karen and we went to the gym before heading to the pool. Again, after 10 minutes on the bike and 15 minutes running, my body felt fatigued again so I just had a quick go on the rowing machine and did some abs then went for a swim. So there, that was my final week. I was owned by a sick bug.

ok ok, I've kept you waiting long enough, I'll shut my babble hole and get on with the big reveal. I'll start with the pictures.... Ta daaaar (I'm not drunk on the 12 week pics by the way, it's the camera that was leaning on an uneven surface but I only realised today when I was uploading)

Now for the stats

So there you go, I can't grumble at that can I *happy face*.

Before I end this blog there are a few things that I need to say. So is it true that 4 weeks you notice change, 8 weeks your friends and 12 weeks the rest of the world? Yes, absolutely. I know that you could all see the changes on here, but in real life, when clothed, it was like clock work when the compliments came. I found myself laughing when it happened. So if you are completing your own personal challenge, stick with it, the results WILL happen and they can happen, in just 12 weeks.

Obviously I can't end this blog without saying a huge great big massive thank you to Esther Farrington at Transform Personal Training. I don't even know where to start. She has been amazing and kept me going throughout. 12 weeks seems such a long time at the beginning but Esther has made it fly by. It's been hard, it's hurt, I've been up, I've been down, I've been good and I've been bad (oh god, don't remind me), but Esther has been a constant support and never judged me when I've fallen and been there to pick me up. I have to say as well, I have mentioned it before but we have worked as training partners throughout this whole process so everything I have done, she has done too. We can't bear to part so after this challenge we are still going to train together. If you want personal training and you're in Manchester, look Esther up. And add to that she is now a certified Insanity instructor (one of the first in the UK!) after a 8 hour Insanity masterclass (how on earth!?). 

Photo: Manchester-are you ready for INSANITY!!!!! We're pro team!!!

Check out all the details here on her website

I also have to thank Elite Academy in Wigan and Ricky Murphy for 6 weeks of his time during the awesome 6 week challenge and Carl Taylor for pushing me during bootcamps and Get Ripped. If in Wigan, check out the facility! You can take your kids with you and leave them at Kidszone while you train, and most importantly, it doesn't cost the earth and the classes are brilliant.

Last but no means least, I want to thank everybody who has read this blog (over 5000 views!!) All the comments on facebook and when I have seen some of you, have been invaluable and let's not forget the forgiveness when I have fallen off the wagon! You have been amazing and played such a big part in me completing this challenge.

I'm really really REALLY going to miss this blog, it's been so much fun and I've loved writing it. 

For now, Carrie Bradshaw of the health and fitness world, is logging off (thank you Vicki Bradley for that title). 

Now go get fit!!! NO EXCUSES!!

Wednesday, 26 March 2014

Week 11

What defines us is how well we rise after falling

Now, we all know I am partial to a shit week, mainly down to my willpower, but never did I think I would have another so soon after the last one, and in the penultimate week AND completely out of my power. Meh, meh, meh!

Where do I start....

Last week I had my toe surgery (Saturday). I don't think I went into too much detail as I'll be honest, it's minging (the procedure I had done was complete toe nail removal of my left big toe *wrongness*) and I hate toes at the best of times so I didn't want to dwell on what was being done. I think because of my denial, I also didn't imagine that it would impact me so much afterwards (but this is me we are talking about).

Now, as I have said in my previous blog about my lady bits, I don't heal well. Yet again, we have more evidence of this. I was talking about this with Esther on Thursday and it's bizarre that I don't heal well. I have a high protein diet (protein helps repair muscles) and I work out, which increases blood flow around your body. Imagine if I didn't!? If I'm honest, it scares me a little for the operation planned for October, so I am going to make sure the consultant is aware of my healing powers (lack of) and love of infection (!) and give me antibiotic cover for the op.

So back to this week as well as the shocking infection in my toe, which started 2 days after the operation, mother nature stuck her oar in too, add to that that it's my last week of maternity leave *sobs* and in true Kirsty fashion I had a diary that was insane. Never one to sit around quietly.... (maybe that is the reason my toe hasn't healed hey!?).

Lets have a look at this week in more details then shall we...

Here is what I had planned...... (deluded about the workouts much!?)

Sunday - Managed to hobble to church for Sunday school, that's about it for the day! I was on rest for 48 hours post op.
Monday - No Boxing
Tuesday - Was due to see Esther but cancelled as I couldn't get my trainers on. I did however hobble to the Trafford Centre to meet my friend Becky and her gorgeous baby Freddie. I couldn't cancel this date as Becky was coming over from Bradford and sore toe or not, we were getting together (its the last week of my mat leave people!!). For a workout, I got my dumbbells out  at home and did some squats (tried walking lunges, turns out your toe is integral to this movement, go figure... :), dead lifts and calf raises. Nothing too taxing, but I was getting frustrated at not being able to workout.
Wednesday - The toe pain was major now so I got an appointment to see the doctor, they could fit me in at 4.30pm (I called at 8.30am!!). In the meantime, cocodamol helped me get to my cake date with Vicky & the lovely Anna banana and to a play date for Adam at little Thomas Humphrey's 1st birthday party.
After the doctor confirmed the infection I started on my antibiotics. Again, frustration of not being able to workout was setting in, so I got my kettle bell out at home and did a mini workout again.

Thursday - I got my trainers on, somehow (I think the pain killers were the main reason), so I ventured to Esther's for our session. We did an epic upper body workout. Chest press, flys, reverse flys, shoulder raises/press, then finished with some biceps/triceps drop sets then some chin ups (because I can do them (still very happy about that) so got to keep them up!). In the afternoon I had my Topshop personal shopping appointment. This is a massive highlight of my week, but more on that in a min.
Friday- No workout as it was my mother in laws birthday so we all headed over to Doncaster for the day to go out for a birthday lunch. The return journey wasn't a highlight of the day. Set off at 330pm after Adam had just projectile vomited all over the in laws house and then sat on the car park aka M62 where accident after accident meant we arrived home at 7pm. See what I mean about it being a shit week and mostly out of my control!?
Saturday - Funnily enough, I didn't make it to Park run (was I being completely deluded thinking a week after the op I'd be able to run?!) Toe is still in a right state and I'm not sure the antibiotics are even working yet!?

As you can see, workouts haven't really worked out for me this week. I'll be honest, nutrition hasn't either. I already pre warned you about my cake date with Vicky, which featured a cherry bun. The other problem has come with the antibiotics. They are those that you have to eat on an empty stomach (2 hours before food, 1 hour after), 4 times a day!? Well, that sent me into a tailspin. I can't do this at all as I have food spread throughout the day, I never have an empty stomach!? As well as that, when I'm in pain, I have no appetite so I haven't eaten a lot of anything and anything I have eaten hasn't been particularly nutritious, which is no good at all. And as if I needed any other issues this week, the antibiotics have messed with my innards and ahem, I haven't, ahem *whispers* been 'big toilet', ahem, for over a week now (I know, right!!). F...M....L

So enough of all the shit (scuse the pun), let me tell you about a highlight this week. I went to Topshop for my personal shopping. I was very excited. When I had called and booked the appointment they had taken a brief from me which went along the lines of, new (ish) second time mummy, lost baby weight, wants to lose the mummy uniform (leggings), wants new capsule wardrobe (as all the clothes I've bought in the last 12 months have been child sizes), size 12, happy to try anything.  So when I arrived the lovely Samantha had a selection of clothes ready for me which were fabulous and we had a great couple of hours trying them all on. The best bit for me, is that all of the clothes (even jeans!?) are size 10, not size 12 that I thought I was. And some things are even a size 8!? I cannot tell you how gobsmacked I was. Topshop size 10! Me? And I was bloated from mother nature that day too. I feel that I shouldn't be so gobsmacked but I still am. So despite this week being a nightmare in terms of workouts and food (yeah Kirsty, just everything this blog is meant to be about!!!) it was a success in terms of meeting one of my original targets (Weigh to go), to drop a dress size. I did it, in 11 weeks, not 12!

On to my pics for this week, urgh! They are not good, in fact they feel a bit week one to me. I have my monthly bloaty body suit on (think those inflatable sumo suits), my tum is hard and sticky out because antibiotics just don't agree with me (I normally get gastritis after a course of antibiotics) and the lack of workouts also makes me feel meh. I almost want to ignore this week and have make it 13 week challenge as I feel like I've been cheated out of a week. Anyway, enough chelping, here they are:

Onto this week, the final week and the week that I return to work, eek! As I type this (Saturday) my foot is up on a chair and pillow, not looking or feeling any better than it did this time last week when I was post op, so my plan is that tomorrow I will rest it completely. Then Monday I will try and do something. I am planning to see Esther on Tuesday then Wednesday its back to work day. Esther and I have agreed to do final measurements a week on Tuesday as I can't get to here before because of work and Esther is doing Insanity Instructors course over the weekend.

I can't believe this blog is nearly over! I'm really going to miss doing it!? New challenge??

And sorry it's been a tad doom and gloom this week. Not what I had imagined for my penultimate week post. Best laid plans and all that...

Until next week....

Sunday, 16 March 2014

Week 10

Some people want it to happen, some wish it would happen, others make it happen.

Got to say, starting this blog a with a clear conscience this week! I'm very happy to report that I have redeemed myself this week after the shocker last week. I always said I would be real and take you on this journey, warts n all and I think last week proved it. But when I fall I fall hey!

On Sunday night last week I have got to admit, I wondered how the hell I would snap out of the defiant kid mode and get my willpower again, but somehow I managed to get it back. I really noticed it because there were biscuits in the house and on Monday I went over and went to grab one and the voice that was missing the week before to tell me to stop, came back. I started to grab then pow, Mr Willpower stopped me. I just smiled and thought wow, it really is swings and roundabouts. The day before I would have stuffed it in my mouth as quick as winky.

So what did I get up to this week....

Monday - Boxing Bootcamp at St Thomas' in Ashton. As per usual this class was immense. I came out of there like I'd been stood under a shower. Also a lot less angrier than when I went in. I guess kicking and punching poor Darren, Dave & Kev will help with anger management.

Tuesday - Esther and I did Plyocide, one of the workouts from Beachbody's PX902. Oh my good giddy god, this workout is bizarre, but painful. It doesn't flow like Insanity (and Tony Horton is annoying, as Esther said, if he could kiss himself he would) but it kills you. Highly recommend it.

Wednesday - I did Insanity Max Cardio Conditioning. I basically had an hour and a half child free as Adam was having a settling in session with the childminder. I got home, did this, had a shower, ran back for Adam, Most normal people would probably have just sat and had a cuppa and enjoyed the silence.

Thursday - PT with Esther. I put a request in for a leg workout, but given my condition 'down there' I didn't go as heavy as normal with the weights. Workout was a killer though. We did squats, walking lunges, single leg dead lifts, hamstring curls, then to finish we did some fartlek (sprints). The reason we did this is because I have noticed at Parkrun that the main area I am struggling with is breathing. I think because I am more focused on weight training, my poor lungs can't keep up with me when I am running and I literally can't get my breath sometimes (the wind at Pennington Flash doesn't help either!!). So I am trying to up my cardio (hence Insanity Cardio conditioning) to help.
Oh my, and how could I forget, I managed to do chin ups this week for the first time EVER! Chuffed is not the word!! See the video here 

As well as this killer workout, I decided to really push myself as I knew I was having my toe surgery at weekend which meant I wouldn't be able to train, so took myself off to Get Ripped at Elite. I was sore when I got there from the previous workouts this week and how I got through this I don't know. All I can say is that it's Sunday when I am writing this and my legs are still sore.

Friday - I did intend to do a run, but my legs and abs were in bits. For once, I listened to my body and had a rest day.
Saturday - My toe surgery was originally booked for 8am and I got a letter saying it was moved to 12 so I said I was going to still do Parkrun. However, I had to fast and couldn't drink water so at the last minute I changed my mind, much to my mother's relief.
Sunday - Limping after the toe nail removal, which I might add, is one of the worst things I have ever been through. Not the removal so much, the injections of anaesthetic into the toe. Even the surgeon said, 'This is really going to hurt. I'm so sorry, I cringe myself when I do this because it is the worst place to inject'. He said that just before he put the first injection in.... oh thanks.

Food wise, everything went brilliantly, apart from yesterday (toe day) where I had to fast and when I had the op done, nobody brought me any food (worst aftercare (and to be fair, pre care, in fact, just a bad experience full stop) so when I was eventually allowed to leave the hospital at 5pm I just had to grab a sandwich from Costa and I admit I had a cornflake cake and chai latte because I was a) starving b) traumatised.

Today has been ok but I can feel the PMT starting to take hold of me (yes, its nearly that time AGAIN). Starving and the willpower is starting to be tested. I doesn't help that I am in a lot of pain, can't walk properly and high on cocodamol. I did not realise this was how this operation/recovery was going to be and I have to say, if I had known, I wouldn't have had it done. Not ideal either with 2 weeks of the challenge left. I am hoping that tomorrow the pain will ease and I will be training with Esther on Tuesday (even if it's one legged training).

Oh nearly forgot again, food diary link is here.

Pictures time. These were taken on Thursday as usual so toe all in tact here.

So next week is my final week of maternity leave. A lot of people keep asking me how am I going to keep up with workouts when I'm back at work.
Firstly, I'm only working 3 days a week to start with. Secondly, both Esther and Elite Fitness Academy are super child friendly. I will still be seeing Esther once a week and will be taking Isabelle with me. Elite also have Elite Kidszone and also classes where Isabelle (and Adam when he is older) can join in, so I will be making the most of that. I also have an amazing support network around me with Matt and my mum who help me out massively, in fact without them I wouldn't be able to do half the things I do. So, this isn't the end just because I'm back at work, it's just going to be even harder to squeeze in, but the motivation is there.

This week is super busy and I will tell you upfront, I have a 'cake date' with a my friend Vicky as we have been off on maternity leave together again and we have also both been working hard (Vicky has lost over a stone and ran the St Helens 10k last week, whoop) so we had agreed that at the end of my challenge (although not quite the end but we can't fit it in for week 12 as I'm back at work) we would have a cake treat at the amazing cafe chouxchouxbedoo

I also my Topshop personal shopping appointment this Thursday which I am very excited about. I have saved up after every workout and have asked family for money for my birthday for it, so going to get a new wardrobe for my new bod. Leggings (aka my mummy uniform) will not feature.

Until next week....

Sunday, 9 March 2014

Week 9

Fall seven times, stand up eight

Just before I started writing this post, I had to check back to see if there was a pattern in my shit weeks. It appears not, but they do happen pretty often. This week has been one of them in terms of food and exercise (socially, it's been great!?).

So where do I start.... I went to Newcastle last weekend to spend one of the last weeks of my maternity leave with my friend Vicki and her two lovely children. It was just me and the kids that went, Matt had a well earned rest at home (although he said he didn't like it without us, it was too quiet (I can't imagine it ever being too quiet!!). Anyhow, I knew that I wasn't going to be a complete angel, but never did I imagine this angel would rip off her wings and replace with devil horns.. Let me set the scene first (or get my excuses in, however you want to read it). Isabelle (3), Caite (20 months, getting a back tooth), Adam (9 months and getting first tooth en route to Newcastle), Patrick (7 months, getting first tooth while we are en route to Newcastle). That list in itself makes you want to grab the vodka eh! Don't get me wrong, we had lots of fun and it was so good to see the kids playing together (and for the mummies to have a good goss), but it was exhausting (as Vicki will vouch for). It was like an endless nappy changing, bottle making, feeding, nursing, calpoling, stopping boys from climbing, fun fest.

The first night, we had agreed to have wine, which we did. We eat brilliantly all day so wine was the only naughtiness. The following day (after I slept with Isabelle in a double bed, who kept waking me up through the night asking if I was ok (give me strength)) we were knackered. Did a kids class, soft play etc and had our healthy chicken dinner. All was well, kids were in bed, then the devil appeared (that's me). I could see the shop lighting up like beacon of hope, directly across the road.... I said to Vicki, should I go and get some crisps, to which she replied (like a naughty child), yeah and some chocolate.... SO I DID! And not only that, I went out in my pj's and knee high boots, IN PUBLIC, TO GET BAD STUFF! We sat and eat it and then, when the shame spiral kicked in, we went to bed. It was 9.30pm!

From there, my week just went worse with food. I keep trying to think why I am struggling so much. Is it because I didn't have carbs for a week and my willpower has just gone from focusing so hard on that? Is it because it's that week in my cycle that I always seem to struggle with? Is it after the come down from such a high after measurements? Is it because I'm maybe resting on my laurels because I have come so far, and dare I say it, I'm happy with my bod? And the big one, is it because I didn't see Esther this week, so I was like a naughty kid (while the cats away and all that...) I don't know the answer, maybe a bit of all that, but I know I couldn't wait to write this blog to get it out because somehow this helps get me back on track, after all I am accountable, I committed to 12 weeks so I owe you all that.

In all honesty, I have said this to a lot of my friends in the past, especially those with none sleeping babies, but tiredness is a killer. Sleep is so important and if you aren't getting enough you are in survival mode and it's hard to stay on track. For me, I find that when I am tired, my brain is sneaky. (Bear with me now) it makes me do things, lightening quick, like eat something I shouldn't, before the good side of the brain has had time to stop me (does that makes sense!?). It only ever happens when I'm tired. And this week, I have been uber tired. All that driving and broken sleep for two nights and the relentless of the four tinkers just did me in. The of course, you get into that cycle of shit food also making you feel tired/lethargic. Arghhh!

So, excuses out the way,  my food spiral consisted of pancake day the day I returned from Newcastle. I had to have a pancake with nutella and marshmallows and chocolate buttons that my daughter made for me..... I couldn't turn her down after so much effort could I!? #fail

Wednesday was ok in the day, but in the evening Matt bought what I can only call sweet smack (Haribo spaghetti) which I couldn't resist. #fail

Friday I went out for tea with Matt, Isabelle & Adam and my theory was that I had messed up this week anyway, so what harm will a chilli dog do (god, I am actually embarrassed writing this). Should I just log off now.... #fail

Right, ok, lets step away from the food for a minute, maybe I can redeem myself with my workouts... maybe!?

Monday & Tuesday - The kids were a workout (give me Insanity any day). Bathing four of them, walking (I think a mile-ish) with four of them and chasing them round a soft play and the house.
Wednesday - A bit of normality - Bootcamp at Elite
Thursday - (the guilt setting in day). Bootcamp at Elite at 11am THEN at 8pm Get Ripped also at Elite
Friday - Rest day as I have no other option with Isabelle & Adam all day, then by the time they are in bed, I am literally fit for nothing.
Saturday - Park Run. The one positive in this blog this week. This was my fourth run since having Adam. My first time was 29:44 and this weeks run I did it in 25:48. I really went all out as this is the last run for a while as I am having toe surgery next Saturday *sobs*. Not sure how long that will keep me away from running, hopefully not too long seeing as though I am signed up for the Race for Life 10k in July.

Personal Information Alert! You may not want to read, especially if a boy, or expecting a baby....

I wanted to talk about something else that has been causing me some issues lately, and one of the reasons I didn't see Esther this week and had an impromptu rest day last Wednesday.

I was in two minds to write about it as it's quite personal, but I'm having to tell people at the places I workout about my restrictions, so I may as well share. I also want to raise awareness as I have been doing a lot of research lately and it seems a lot of women, post baby (and sometimes not even after childbirth) have these types of issues and just live with it and think you have to live with it, when you don't.

Basically, most people that know me, know that I had a pretty traumatic birth with Isabelle, traumatic in terms of how it affected my body (lady bits) and my recovery. I pretty much had a designer vajuju after a few trips to hospital in the weeks after Isabelle was born.

When I found out I was having Adam, I decided not to opt for a section (even though it was offered) and went natural, which was a good idea because labour was super quick and easy-ish. But as we found out with Isabelle, I don't heal well, and if I'm honest, my little flower wasn't made for pushing babas out.  So the upshot now, is that post Adam, I have a prolapsed bladder, which despite (crude term alert) fanny physio (sorry) hasn't improved.

Now just let me say here, I am very lucky despite having this. I can run, star jump (kind of), laugh, sneeze, go on a trampoline (as long as my bladder isn't full), and all things like that, without wetting myself, which is surprising, given that it's my bladder that isn't in it's correct place. However, as I have found out lately, I can't do sit ups, crunches and I'm not really supposed to lift big weights as it makes it a lot worse, which we found out during the ab challenge I started to do recently.

So what am I doing about it? Well, I have to have surgery (designer vajuju no 2 coming up), but I can't have that until Adam is older and walking and less reliant on me, as you can't lift anything heavier than a kettle with enough water for a cup of tea for you (just like post c section) for 6-8 weeks, which I obviously can't do at the moment with a 23lb baby. I am at the consultant this week and we think it will be October when I will have it done. That aside, my workouts have had to change slightly which Esther has adapted for me. I can't do sit ups/crunches etc, but I can do planks and other core exercises. To be honest, I wasn't doing sit ups that much anyway until I started that 30 day challenge (in week 6) and it wont affect me getting a six pack (yeah but the chilli dog will eh Kirst!).  I also need to make sure that whatever I lift, my pelvic floor is lifted and in control, which it is. I just have to listen to my body and know my restrictions and not put my fitness above my health.

Phew, that's a load off. Should we have some pictures and lighten the mood and see if you can see the chilli dog love handles.....?

I can only apologise about this weeks food lapse and give you my word I am back on track now and next week I will be back to being an angel. I have already been on the hotline to Esther and she has given me a good talking to and also told me not to beat myself up too much as look at what I have achieved so far. Still, not good enough.

I'll look forward to normal service being resumed next week!